It’s a plug for Grandpa Simpson, and not for this blog

by Andrew Fogarasi

To the Arnprior Chronicle Guide:

I am sick to death of receiving junk mail disguised as official Government of Canada correspondence. I’m sure everyone knows what I mean: a standard sized brown envelope with a red maple leaf in the corner. It happened again this week, right around the same time many of us were checking our mailboxes for notices from the Canada Revenue Agency regarding our tax returns. An entirely random accident of timing, no doubt.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but this kind of thing is skeevy as all get out. At least the email come-ons from Nigerian princes offering me a cut of millions in ill-gotten gains are refreshingly over the top in their absurdity and illegality. But this has an entirely unwarranted veneer of legitimacy. Well, it may not be illegal, but it sure as hell is not legitimate. This is flim flammery of the lowest order.

If anyone is seriously considering buying from these hucksters, I beg you to reconsider. If they had anything of genuine value to offer, would they have to disguise it and trick you in the first place? Please just throw the junk out, or better yet, fill the convenient postage prepaid return envelope with something exceedingly heavy (your used AA batteries will fit nicely in the envelope) and drop them a note letting them know how much you appreciate their duplicity. There is a special place in hell reserved for these bottom feeders, though they may have to share space with the people that develop cell phone plans.

P.S. I am not a crank.

regards,
Andrew Fogarasi

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